Religious Exceptions Becoming Rules

Just like in Politics we can “label” someone as liberal or conservative depending upon the subject.

 A difficult religious subject is the subject of marriage, divorce, and remarriage. There is probably no religious subject that will get more of an emotional response than the subject of divorce and God’s acceptance of a marriage relationship. And so, I would like to consider this subject in general (avoiding too much detail because it can become very complicated) with the caveat that I’m not your judge. All of us will be judged for our words and deeds by a higher power.

However, we will begin this study with an observation about this and other religious subjects. If you have a so-called conservative opinion on this subject you have already lost the battle with public opinion. Your religious thoughts (if you actually speak your religion) will be held in contempt. That’s why many church ministers will not speak on this subject. They may notice the audience getting smaller and smaller if they do. They may find themselves with a pejorative label and excommunicated. Labels are much more powerful than facts and studied opinion. Most Ministers, like most politicians, are not leaders but followers. They continually test the wind to see what is acceptable to say in the pulpit.

Leadership is influence (nothing more and nothing less). That’s why the New Testament talks about the influence of a leader. For example, we read this in 1st Timothy 3:2, “A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach….” Because leadership is influence we find similar requirements for all leaders in the church. The church leader is a role model or should be a good example. If a leader can’t control his household, can’t control his liquor, and can’t control his sex drive what’s he doing as an example for your children?

Many of us have taken courses in the New Testament at various Universities. I recall my professor and Presbyterian Minister make this paraphrased comment when I took such a course: “The most common mistake made by students of the bible is rightly dividing the word of truth. Who is the audience and what law is being considered (old or new law).” I believe strongly that he was correct with his observation. Many Ministers today teach the old law even though Christ nailed it to the cross. It may be an applicable principle for Christians and it may not be even though we find it written in the New Testament.

Many rules have exceptions. However, we may be in trouble when we make the exception the rule. We often see this in religion because people study themselves (their actions) into the realm of being acceptable with God. Like the sin of homosexuality people that practice this lifestyle tend to make it the rule for society instead of the exception. Everyone I know is a homosexual they may say (or you would think that’s the case). If you disagree with their lifestyle you are held in contempt. And so, many Ministers of the gospel either support their lifestyle or become silent. (After all, you have to eat right?) Either is deadly even though God will take care of it. “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is an abomination…And the land is defiled: therefore I do visit the iniquity thereof upon it, and the land itself vomiteth out her inhabitants.” (Leviticus 18:22-25) God makes certain promises regarding our actions. You may recall that Abraham argued with God over the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Homosexuality is a subject that is quickly being lost in the realm of public opinion and some countries prosecute Ministers with hate crimes for teaching the bible on this subject. Has God changed his mind about various sins? "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them." (Leviticus 20:13) "Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." (1st Corinthians 6:9-10) And so, the argument turns from adultery or “the husband of one wife” to the argument of “same sex marriage.” What is sin becomes the rule in society. That’s often how religious argument progresses because Ministers are followers and not leaders.

Therefore, your disagreement has now become the exception instead of the rule. Their comments and presence in the Lord’s church becomes more acceptable than your comments and your presence. They no longer want you to attend their services because their lifestyle is attacked by your very presence. They know you disagree that their practices (particularly as leaders in the church) and they resent your very presence. You have now become the exception.

When it comes to the New Testament study of divorce lets look at the most common narrow argument that becomes greatly expanded to include all possibilities by church leaders. Christ was asked this question in Matthew 19:3, “Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?” We could write a book on this chapter (some have) but we don’t need to do so. “Is it lawful” was a question of their law (Law of Moses or Old Law). Assuming this is written to Christians is the common mistake I mentioned at the beginning of this article. However, let us be generous and assume that Christ is giving a universal principle or law. What was his answer? “Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” That was his initial answer. Wow!

And so, we see a second question from the Pharisees. “Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?” (Verse 7) Every cause was still the question.

What was the second answer of Christ? “Moses [law of Moses] because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” (Verses 8 & 9) Here we see the exception that has become the rule.

Why did Moses give an exception? Because of the hardness of your hearts he said you could give your wife a writing of divorcement for fornication. This said nothing about the wife and what she could do. Why? The Jewish men owned women and children similar to their livestock. That’s just how it was in those days. Men had rights and women didn’t have rights. I don’t care if someone has a Ph.D. after his or her name, or not, if they don’t understand the history of this culture they don’t know what they are talking about. That’s why this was such a critical subject for women then as it is today. Women are left with children, responsibilities, etc. and the men just walk away. That’s where the “hardness of heart” comes in because hardness of heart creates sin. Hardness of heart causes people to walk away from responsibility. Moses allowed them to do this but Christ didn’t have a hard heart. He was concerned about the women in his creation too.

Was Christ giving these Pharisees a new law or explaining to them their law? In other words, Moses just let you do whatever you wanted to do but I’ll let you do it only because of fornication (new law). Matthew 5:17 gives insight into that question: “Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.”

His disciples reacted to his teaching about like we react today. “His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.”

Like God, we see Christ often looking at the big picture. What’s good for women and children and what’s good for society in general. We all know the answer to that question when we look at the failed homes and the consequences in our society today.

 I’ve been asked before, “Don’t you believe that Christ allowed divorce?” I can get excited about the “possibility” but discouraged by the “probability.” I think it is possible that the bible allows for divorce and remarriage. However, I can’t get too excited about the probability. Why?

The Apostles didn’t give us teaching on this subject except places like Romans 7 and 1st Corinthians 7. Christ told Peter in Matthew 16:19, “And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” We can see the kingdom come with power on the day of Pentecost in the book of Acts.

(We might like to review what some of the early church writers taught on this subject. http://whatismarriagetonywpiano.weebly.com/teaching-of-the-church-for-1500-years-about---divorce-and-remarriage.html)

In the bible the marriage relationship is compared to the relationship that Christ has with his bride (the church). Christ had been married before the church too. Jeremiah the prophet talks about this union in chapter 31 at verse 31: “Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel, and with the house of Judah: Not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt; which my covenant they brake, although I was an husband unto them, saith the LORD: But this shall be the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel; After those days, saith the LORD, I will put my law in their inward parts, and write it in their hearts; and will be their God, and they shall be my people.” The passage is quoted in the New Testament (NT) in Heb. 8:8-12.

Now we go to the same discussion by the Apostle Paul in Romans chapter 7: “Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man. Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.”

Now we go to the same discussion by the Apostle Paul to the Ephesians in chapter 5 at verse 22: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.”

Have you ever considered divorcing yourself from Christ and leaving the church? Do you think that would create a good outcome for you? Christ will never divorce his bride or the church. Perhaps you should understand the relationship that Christ is talking about in these passages of scripture?

What happens if you leave the church? Isn’t it the same thing that should happen if your spouse leaves you? Paul said this to the Corinthians in 1st Corinthians 7:10-11, “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”

Christ spent his life here on earth reconciling us to God and we are admonished to do the same with our marriage relationship (compared to the same relationship that Christ has with the church).

We could write a book refuting the ideas expressed in this article. I will be more than happy to agree with your position if it wasn’t for these scriptures. I certainly hope to be wrong on this subject and I very well could be wrong on this subject or any other bible subject. Also, there is something that greatly troubles me about members in the Lord’s church about this subject.

I know a Minister in the church that recommended that my first cousin ignore this teaching and by all means get remarried. This Minister has already lived beyond his (3) score and (10). He may jeopardize his own soul but why would he have the audacity to jeopardize my cousin by giving her bad advice on this subject? What did the Apostle Paul say about his situation in life? “I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I [unmarried].” (1st Corinthians 7:8) Why? Because Paul understood the brevity of life and what is really important in life. He didn’t make this a command but he did express his opinion.

Thankfully, my first cousin (as of yet) has not taken his bad advise. I’ve expressed my personal opinion on many subjects and they are only my opinion. I have no idea what I would do in some situations we find ourselves in life. However, I often qualify my thoughts with this is just my opinion. The Lord may not like or agree with my opinion. However, as of yet, I can’t find anything wrong with the safety of this opinion compared to the bad advise many Ministers of the church give to their members. In that regard, those that won’t submit their life to these opinions have been accepted (leadership) and those with my opinion have been rejected and ostracized. A good friend of mine (Minister in the church) told members of our congregation: “Perhaps it would be better for you if I don’t come and speak for your congregation.” We all know whom it’s better for.

 In our community we have members in other congregations that are very strict on many subjects. For example, “Don’t have a glass of wine but adultery is just fine.” (I’m not condoning either with this statement.) Of course, they don’t consider these relationships that they’ve condoned for years adultery. I certainly hope they are right. What if they are wrong? This reminds me of Matthew 23:24, “Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel.” Fornication and adultery is a sin. “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.” (1st Corinthians 6:9-10)

Many verses in scripture express similar thoughts about adultery. What kind of influence do you want in your pulpit teaching your children? People in our country have made the exception the rule. Perhaps the land will vomit us out?